There…There…

I have so many great friends here in DC as well as in Chicago, and on a daily basis, I find myself wondering how I got so lucky.  And I think about this even more when one of them needs a shoulder to cry on.  Why? Because I…am not very good at comforting people.

Before you get all up in arms, and say, ‘No way, Heather, you do a fine job of comforting folks when they’re upset, I’m sure,’ let me explain myself here.  (Or, I mean, maybe you totally agree that I’m the worst, but this is what you would say to comfort ME when I feel like a terrible and awkward friend.)

When it comes to reassuring those that I care about that everything is going to be A-OK after a rough patch, I’m not so good with words.  I distinctly remember when I first realized this fact. As a senior in college, one of my roommates broke up with her boyfriend after a drunken night out and stumbled into our room bawling.  Before I could say anything, she just walked straight at me, tears running down her face, mumbling about a breakup.  Panicked, all I could think to do was open my arms and hug her while she cried. And all I said was, ‘I’m so sorry, just let it out,’ and it seemed to help.  I distinctly recall my initial terror at thinking I was going to have to talk through it with her, and worrying about what I could even say, and being so relieved that comforting a friend had been so simple, and that for the moment, a hug solved it all.

Although I consider myself a writer, a communications professional, and most importantly, a talker, I feel that comforting people with my words just never works out very well.  I make things worse by thinking far too logically about why you and your best friend or coworker are fighting.  Or I will tell you that you dodged a bullet because MAN, your boyfriend had a terrible last name anyway.  Or I try to lighten the mood with a joke about how much free time you’ll have now that you lost your job (This last one especially does not work out well).  If I don’t somehow offend, I just say, ‘Aww,’ and ‘Oh, I’m so sorry’ on an incessant loop that even starts to sound empty to me after a while.

And to clarify, I really really do care, and I do have a heart that does not pump ice through my veins. I care about my family members and friends so much that I wish I could help them out by just dealing with some of the shitty stuff for them.  Just scooping some pain off the top and handling it for them so that they can breathe easy for a few.  But I worry that my words never convey that when those I’m closest to are going through tough times — so sometimes, to make sure I don’t end up looking like an insensitive jerk, I say little or nothing at all.  Which probably doesn’t help either.

I kind of wonder if we all comfort others in the way that we receive comfort best.  Words honestly are probably the least useful when my friends are trying to talk me off of a ledge.  For example, some of the adages I have heard over the years from well-meaning friends have almost been more infuriating than helpful.  There have been points during breakups or dating mishaps where I thought that if I heard my girlfriends say, ‘It will all work out in the end. If it doesn’t, it’s not the end,’ one more time, that I was going to throw my phone out a window.  That didn’t help me when I thought about how that could mean that I would meet the love of my life at the ripe old age of 80, so I try not to use that one on other people.  Same with, ‘It just wasn’t meant to be.’ Like, duh.  I knew that already.  For as extremely emotional and expressive as I am, I’m also annoyingly logical.  So please, guys, I love you, but stop quoting your Facebook profile from 2005.

I also started thinking a lot about this today when I saw Hyperbole and a Half’s newest post (hooray, she’s back!) on depression.  So many times your friends or loved ones just want to make you BETTER when life is crappy, so they just start saying things, even if they do not acknowledge the problem at hand or, really, make sense at all. And a lot of times, they just tell you to look on the bright side, and that you’ll get through it.  If you’re a naturally optimistic person like myself, this is normally very easy, but when you’re depressed or going through some really rough times, this advice, this help just makes you feel further and further away from your friends and from getting better.

So for me, words — as much as I love them and swear by their power in general — are not very effective for dealing with pain.  Aside from when I get them out for myself on paper, they don’t do much for me.  And so, instead of using them for other people, I do what I know (and respond to) best.  I give really great hugs, and have no problem hanging out with you all day on the couch (or at the bar if that’s what you need).  And I won’t hesitate to pick up your all-time favorite treat or movie on my way over or even make something if it’s simple enough (I’d like us both to live, so no laborious recipes, but I can make some pretty awesome muffins). I will tell you that you are allowed to feel however you are feeling, no matter how crazy you think it makes you seem, and that if you need to ugly cry for hours, I am cool with that.  And most importantly, despite my love of conversation, I’ll sit and just listen and act as a wordless sounding board for as long as you want, or heck, even just sit in silence if you just need to feel a little less alone. But let’s just assume that, eventually, everything will be OK, so please, don’t make me say it.

Lazy Link Love… Because It’s Monday

I haven’t done a round-up of interesting reads lately, so I figured that Monday was the best day to do it.  We’re all working hard, getting back into the swing of things, but might need just the smallest distraction to get us through until 5pm.

Should Etiquette Change as Technology Evolves? I loved this article because it really hit home.  I know that I can be a little short over technology sometimes, but I also do try my hardest to convey the correct (and polite) tone, because I know that technology can be very tricky. Also, if I hear one more person say ‘Let me Google that for you’ to one of their friends, I am going to scream. BE NICE. Sometimes people are just making conversation or trying to demonstrate that your opinion is important to them.  Just stop with the constant snark, please.

From One Paragraph to One Page: How to Beef Up Your Resume  This is an interesting piece on how to build up your resume if you are one of the few that needs to add to your resume rather than pare it down.  As a professional resume writer, I completely agree with some of these, like expanding upon your accomplishments and not going crazy with non-standard fonts or margins.  However, I disagree with a few things like listing your irrelevant volunteer experience and not messing with formatting at all.  Creating a separate section for general ‘Other’ info, is fine, but six lines of your resume should not be devoted to your time spent hanging out with puppies at the Humane Society or running with an after-school program — especially if you’re trying to get into finance or something equally unrelated.

Five Wedding Gift Etiquette Rules That Make No Sense  My good friend Rachel Wilkerson wrote this one, and although I’m not anywhere close to being a bride, I have been a guest at more weddings than I can count, and have watched my sister stress out planning her wedding, so I like to think that I have a little insight.  There are so.many.rules. when it comes to weddings, and I feel like gifting, whether you’re giving or receiving, is one of the trickiest.

Michigan No. 10 in Final AP Top 25  The end of this regular season, was a little disappointing, but I still have major love for my Wolverines.  I have high hopes for March Madness, and am just excited we’ve done as well as we have this season.  Although I don’t have them coming even close to winning it all in my bracket, the tiniest sliver still hopes I’m wrong about that.

And finally, as if this kid hasn’t gotten enough publicity.  Whatever, anyone who can sing this beautifully and is this brilliant? Is A-OK in my book.

TGIF

Despite me being on spring break, this week has felt pretty much endless.  I think I got busier without school, which makes me nervous about going back next week, but I’ve probably just been expanding my work to fill the time, so I’m not going to worry too much about it just yet (but cross your fingers for me!).  I don’t have much to say today, other than TGIF, but I do have a little musical inspiration for the weekend, whether you’re just hanging out or celebrating St. Patrick’s Day.

First up are my recent favorite workout jams, since…if we’re all going to be drinking as much green beer as I assume we will this weekend, we should probably get a little physical activity in, yeah? Neither of these songs are new in general, but they’ve been in heavy rotation on the workout playlist lately:

I know everyone loves Macklemore these days (and for good reason), but this song is probably my favorite.  It gets played at least twice per run — at the start to get me going, the last 5 minutes to finish strong, and maybe one more time in the middle if I need a boost.

If you want to lift a little heavier and get your mean-mug on so the personal trainers at the gym don’t attempt to approach you, Queen Bey probably has just the song for you.  The beat makes me want to sprint, her ‘tude pushes me to pick up heavier dumbbells (although my hamstrings may hate this song still two days after stiff-leg deadlifts), and to be perfectly honest, the video is pretty good motivation.

As for going out, I still have the musical taste of a 14-year-old girl. So, Ke$ha is what I’m listening to, because she’s…ridiculous.  As is this video.

So, since JT has matured, me liking his new stuff means that my musical taste has done the same, right? (JK, see above) Either way, ‘Suit and Tie’ has grown on me, and I, like most of the female population, am glad the man is back.

And since St. Patrick’s Day is Sunday…

Happy Friday, all!

Lately.

Lately, I have been terrible about updating.  Oops.  I am still totally loving DC, but I just haven’t sat down to write a coherent post about any one topic.  So today…I am still not writing a nice cohesive post.  But I will give you a list of random things related to my life lately. Good enough for a Monday, yeah?

• I’m singing again! Those of you who know me personally know that my life is just a little more complete when it involves music. Whether it’s hitting really low notes, and freaking out the guys in my a cappella group, or rocking out on a solo, I just need to sing.  Plus, having people to nerd out with about how cool the Pentatonix show was is fantastic. So, my winter got a little better because of that.

• Speaking of, I really love the nerdiness of DC. Everyone here is a bit geeky. Don’t get me wrong — most people here have ample social skills, but I think everyone here has a topic they can get totally dorky about if the subject comes up. For me, it’s a cappella or the social construction of gender and defining/redefining feminism.  But the great thing is that I have had conversations with people about these things — in public, in social settings — and they don’t look at me like I have two heads.  All types of dorks here, including ones without any social skills to speak of — which makes weirdos like me feel less awkward.
• Another DC population observation: recently, I’ve heard a lot of talk about DC people being boring or all being alike, and I can see how some might think that.  There is definitely a mold that some people living here want to fit, but I think a lot of cities are like this.  The only difference is that other, larger cities have more molds available. Also, I have met so many amazing people that fit no pattern or construct whatsoever.  Anyway, I think it’s interesting from an anthropological perspective, but it’s weird to catch myself sometimes trying to fit certain parts of that DC stereotype. Like I said, I really enjoy DC, but I like my midwestern roots, and I’d like to keep them — and the personality they shaped — intact.
• My parents, who probably also had a hand in forming this personality of mine, visited my home, the nation’s capital, for the first time last month! It was so much fun to show them around the city, even if I got us lost a few times, despite this being ‘my city’ now.  When my sister and brother-in-law came to visit before that, I got us even more lost, though, so I’m thinking I should do something about my sense of direction.

My dad told me he was ‘hoping to save stamps.’

• I also visited Chicago and was overwhelmed with how much love I have for the good people in my life. Thank goodness they know this about me, so they weren’t bothered by the spine-crushing hugs I was doling out every 10 minutes. I had girl time, bro time, and an overall really good time. It was weird to be back in DC missing Chicago that much for the first time since I moved.

• Spring Break! Wooo! Just kidding, I just don’t have class this week.
• I gave up Facebook for Lent (yes, my blog auto-posts to Facebook, but I have not been signing in myself), and I am pretty happy about that.  I just…care a little less about what I’m missing out on, and I don’t compare myself to others nearly as much.  I also read an article recently talking about why Facebook is no longer cool. One thing that really stuck out to me was that so many people said that the site was addictive, but not actually enjoyable.  That made so much sense to me, so I’m happy for the hiatus. Also, I am apparently not the only one taking a break.
• I’ve been able to check a few things off of my ‘Must-do in DC’ list that friends have helped me make. Gravelly Point, a Capitals game, 9:30 Club, The Gibson, and plenty more. I still have toooons to do, but I figure I’ll be here for a while, so I should be able to get to loads of those suggestions.

• As if playing flag football this fall didn’t make me feel unathletic enough, I’ve joined a dodgeball team! This is a real thing, folks. I am terrible, but honestly, playing team sports has been how I’ve made most of my friends here in DC. I would recommend joining a team to anyone new to the area — even if the thought of catching or throwing terrifies you as much as it does me.
• I was able to see the First Lady speak on Friday at the Partnership for a Healthier America Summit, and it was awesome. I get that we’re surrounded by politics in DC, but I still don’t understand how some people can act so nonchalant about it all.  Not only was Michelle Obama there, but Cory Booker and Eli Manning also spoke.  So, come on — this is cool, people! Get excited!  This is not everyday life for the rest of America. Also, I’ll go ahead and say it…her bangs look great.

• I’ve also started running again, slowly but surely. I have myself on a decent schedule now, and running is once again feeling like the therapy it used to be for me. I think this will get me to my 2013 goal #3 by the end of the year for sure.
• Speaking of my goals for The Year of Ambition, I’m doing…OK? I guess?:

1. My number-one 2013 goal was to get more informed.  I think I was a little too ambitious getting the New York Times daily, because I have a stack of unread newspapers in my living room, but I am getting much more up-to-date on the world around me.
2. The goal of writing more, though? Clearly, that hasn’t happened. Working on it.
3. Like I said, working on that seven-minute mile.
4. I’m hoping to get all As this semester in school, per goal #4, but we’ll see what Biostats has to say about that.
5. I started a book club with a few friends to fiiiinally finish Infinite Jest, so I should at least wrap it up before January 1, 2014.
6. I haven’t started teaching fitness classes again, but I’m getting excited to do so soon, so hopefully I can at least sub somewhere by this summer.  Time to start doing more pushups and burpees.
7. Parlez vous francais? Nope, not yet. Although, I did at least activate my account online for my French lessons. Baby steps, right?
8. This yoga goal has been the thorn in my side since I made it. I will try it again soon. It just…hasn’t been a priority yet. I also just think I’m way too high-strung for yoga. Which is probably exactly why I need it.
9. I’m pretty sure this was the most ambitious goal I made for the year: Be more patient and learn to let go.  I am still struggling with this one more than I’d like to admit. I just think too much, and I’m not sure how to change that.  A big part of that is learning to talk a little less as well — often I talk about things that I’m concerned about before I even let them sink in.  Which then just makes me even more anxious.  I am pretty laidback about a lot of things,  when I really get worried about something, it’s hard to stop the crazy train.  Maybe running will help with that too.

That about sums it up. And it was a much longer post than I intended.  Attempts at writing a post free of bullet points will happen soon as well.

On Having the Winter Blahs

I am the first to admit that winter is not my favorite time of year, especially the months immediately following the holidays.  Through December, I am usually incredibly busy and don’t even have time to think about the weather. Between planning to go home for Christmas, holiday get togethers, wrapping up the semester, and making sure everything was taken care of at work before I left DC, I didn’t have time this year to think about the cold and how many fewer hours of sunlight we were getting.  This is seriously a huge improvement over how soon the weather hit me in Chicago, and I know DC has hardly had a winter this year, but still, a few weeks ago, I felt it.  I knew.

I have the winter blahs.

I was sleeping longer on the weekends.  I had less motivation at work.  It was taking a lot more effort to talk me into being social.  I was  cool holing up for the entire weekend at a coffee shop.

But this year, I am acknowledging that yup, those winter blahs, I’ve got them, but I don’t have to let them get any worse than they are right now.  Because short of hibernating, there’s not a ton I can do about having to function in the next few months.  So while I’m not a medical professional or qualified to talk about this in any way (other than having plenty of first-hand experience), here are a few things that might help you get through your own case of the winter blahs.

1) Own it. Accept it.  Embrace it.  Seriously, instead of fighting the fact that you are less motivated to go out, use it to take some time to recharge and catch up on sleep.  Or if you’re feeling less than excited about leaving your house, but still have plenty of energy, tackle whatever project you’ve been neglecting.  Catch up on your reading list, organize your closet, take up a new indoor hobby. Or…again, just take the time to let yourself be lazy at watch Netflix to your heart’s content.  I think our culture places a little too much value on being extroverted and hyper-productive, so it’s OK to step back from those expectations for a month or two.  As someone who is usually both of those things, I am slowly learning that it won’t kill me chill out for the colder months.  However…

2) Make plans.  I know, I know, I just said that you should embrace the social hibernation.  However, I know from experience that even just hanging out with friends at home or over coffee a few times a month will make winter seem much shorter.  Looking at my Google calendar all highlighted gives me enough to look forward to that winter does not seem like an endless drag.  Each plan, big or small, is like a little light at the end of the very long, dark tunnel that can be December through March (although, I am very much looking forward to a shorter, milder, sunnier winter here in DC compared to the Great Lakes states).  I have dinners with girlfriends, karaoke nights, visits from family, a trip to Chicago, and an a cappella concert (my obsession with these guys is borderline ridiculous) already booked.  I even have weekly friend workouts planned, which brings me to my next bit of advice…

3) Exercise.  Oh man, personal trainer Heather is BACK. I kid, but honestly, exercise is a remedy for half of what ails us, especially in the mood department.  Last semester, I let the fitness slide a little, and once the rush of finals and the holidays was over, boy did I feel it.  And I don’t mean in the way my jeans fit.  Come January, I was just not as motivated and energetic as I was this past fall, and I knew a big part had to do with me slacking on the workout schedule.  So I combined #2 and #3, booking lifting dates with one friend and running dates with another.  It’s great to relax a little in the winter, but a little structure and a good amount of sweat help everyone.

4) Take advantage of things you can usually only do in the winter.  Go ice skating.  Build a snowman (if you have snow, that is).  Drink hot chocolate.  Wear comfortable sweaters and ridiculous scarves.  Go running in weather than doesn’t make you feel like you’re being roasted alive. (Oh, that was just me this summer?)

5) Be good to yourself.  If your winter blahs turn into serious blues, talk to someone, whether it’s your best friend or someone with letters behind her or his name.  Get a SAD lamp, and make sure you’re either going outside a lot or getting your vitamin D from somewhere else (again, I’m no doctor, but I swear by taking vitamin D drops).  Eat well and sweat a little every week.  Wear bright colors.  Maybe even (gasp!) drink less.  Either way, figure out what will help you keep the blahs to a minimum.

And above all, remember that winter is only a few months long.  Unless you live in Chicago or in the state of Michigan, and then …I’m sorry.

Google ‘SAD lamp’ and…

Do you get the winter blahs? Maybe the mehs? How do you handle them? Have you actually found a way to get away with hibernating?

I Survived a Week Without: Facebook

I’m back! First of, Happy Birthday to anyone that was offended that I didn’t wish them a Happy Birthday.  Something Facebook is good for, I suppose.  Anyway, I survived the week! Here’s my recap of one week without Facebook.

Friday: Day 1 of this mission that some of my friends called crazy.  One friend joined me, which was nice, so I’m looking forward to her account as well.  At first, I kept forgetting NOT to check Facebook, or I started typing the URL into my browser so automatically that it scared me.  Luckily, I had logged out on my computer, so if I accidentally did hit ‘Enter,’ it didn’t pull up my homepage.  Once, early in the morning, my phone buzzed with a notification, so I clicked on it out of habit, but realized the error of my ways before I saw anything.  It was a shock how connected I am to Facebook.  As much of a struggle as the first day was, it got much better later that night, when I realized that I wouldn’t have any idea what anyone was doing unless they directly told me. Out the window went my feelings of inadequacy for wanting to go to bed at 8pm on a Friday.  So after a very tiring short week, guess what I did when I got home? Put on my sweats, crawled into bed with a book, and just read until I fell asleep at 9.  And I didn’t feel bad about it for a second.

Saturday: I was pretty lazy and my biggest accomplishments were working on some freelance work, leaving the house to get some coffee, and reading a few articles in the New York Times. Despite being a lump most of the day, I didn’t really think about Facebook much.  And I only accidentally typed it into my search bar once or twice.  And the introverted, winter-hating part of me that wanted to stay in again to recharge really appreciated that I didn’t know or care what anyone was doing tonight.  I feel like I have been going nonstop since moving to DC (which is wonderful, really!), so taking the time to just be this weekend was very necessary.  I never realized how much I compare myself to others, especially on Facebook.  That alone is sad and strange to think about.  Miraculous how much more self-aware I become when I stop paying as much attention to everyone else.

Sunday: Progress! I didn’t even attempt to visit Facebook once.  And I was really happy about it.  I caught up with a good friend, was much less distracted while getting some freelance work done, and just enjoyed being right where I was.  It might sound silly, but as someone who has critiqued other bloggers for living for their blogs, I think a lot of us don’t realize how much we do things and immediately think of what we should post on Facebook about it.  I did more people watching today than I have in a while, just for the heck of it.  I wrote more, and I was just a lot more…present. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy social media, so this isn’t me turning my nose up at it, but there’s something about disconnecting that makes being social (or anti-social if you need that) so much more intentional.

Monday:  Can I just tell you how much more focused I was at work? And even after work when I was doing some freelance resumes? I was breeeezing through things, because I knew I couldn’t use Facebook as a distraction.  At lunch, I read the paper and just chilled out.  I’m also kind of enjoying being off the grid (sort of…I am writing here, I suppose).  I’m not one of those people that posted things like, ‘taking a shower!’ ‘eating a sandwich!,’ but I definitely felt like I was posting about where I was and what I was doing before.  It’s become even clearer to me than when I started this Facebook detox that no one cares. And not in a callous way, but…why would you care what I’m doing unless you’re with me or are my parents (Hi, Mom!)? I’m not a celebrity, and even if I were, I would hope people wouldn’t care about my Instagrammed picture of sushi.

Tuesday: Much easier.  I was also very busy.  And I realized how much less ragey I am when not looking at stupid things on Facebook.  Case in point: A friend complained to me about how annoying a mutual FB friend of ours was in posts online.  If I had been looking at whatever silly status was posted, I might have been annoyed.  But because I was hearing about it second-hand, it didn’t really bother me.  I shrugged and went back to what I was doing.

Wednesday: Barely thought about it.  The only time I got antsy was when a friend messaged me regarding something I had been waiting to hear about.  It popped up on my notifications on my phone, and without thinking, I tapped the screen.  Luckily, it only brought me to the message and not my newsfeed, so I didn’t feel too bad or like I had actually checked Facebook on purpose.  Although it did make me curious about the 10 notifications I apparently have waiting for me.  But…oddly, not that curious.  I plan to take most of the notifications off of my phone once this little detox is over.  I don’t need my phone buzzing and blinking for one more thing, honestly.

Thursday: Last day of the Facebook ban.  I’m only a little glad, because knowing there is a little red bubble with 20 notifications annoys me.  In the same way that letting my inbox get above 100 annoys me.  Honestly, after a week though, I really don’t miss it that much.  A few friends have told me to check things out that they’ve posted after my self-imposed exile is over, but I kind of doubt I missed anything really earth-shattering.  If something huge happened, and it was to someone important to me, I think I would have found out the old-fashioned way.  You know, via email.

To sum it up, this week without Facebook was only a little hard, and mostly in the beginning, which I expected.  And you know what really struck me? How much selfies annoy me.  I had no idea how much venom I could spew about something social media related until I realized that those probably irk me the most out of everything on Facebook. Weird.  But really, the biggest thing I took away from Facebook is that while it’s nice to have another way to keep up with friends and family scattered everywhere, I didn’t NOT keep in touch with anyone without being on Facebook.  In fact, I called and texted and even met up with my friends more. Imagine that…actually being social outside of social media!  I’m not going to boycott Facebook anytime soon, but I think I am going to try to limit my checking it.  My commute this week was used to read, to people watch on the bus, and to just chill out.  While it didn’t cut way back on my time spent online, it did give me a few extra minutes in which I wasn’t squinting at a screen.  And with my near-blind vision, I could probably use that.

So, in conclusion, I went without Facebook and lived to tell the tale.  Have you ever given up social media for an extended period of time? Did you think this was…kind of not a big deal? Or are you super connected and fine with it? Tell me! I’m interested in what other people have to say on this one.

Making Plans

[Still not checking Facebook. This will automatically post via WordPress.]

When I look back at the past six or seven months, I realize that I have done so much.  Especially when compared to my first few years in Chicago.  Not just in terms of things I’ve seen, but in terms of shaping my life.  Making a solid group of friends, getting a job, getting through my first semester of school, learning my way around the city.  I’ve done a ton…but I know there is so much more for me to see and do here in DC! I’ve been keeping a Google doc of everywhere I’ve been and a lot of places I want to go, but I know I’m missing a few things.  It’s not like I’m leaving DC anytime soon (or maybe ever), but I would hate to look back and realize that I missed some really amazing things.  So I need your help!

If you live in DC or have even just visited, what are some not-so-obvious attractions here (we can skip the Lincoln Memorial, Air and Space Museum suggestions) that I probably haven’t seen?

What are your absolute favorite bars and restaurants here?  What about live music venues?

What are some interesting organizations you’ve been a part of here that are always looking for new members or that welcome new-to-DC folks?

Anything else I missed?

I’m excited for 2013, not only because of my goals and The Year of Ambition, but also because it’s a new year to really see what’s out there!  A lot of people told me, upon moving here, that DC got old really fast, that it was small, and that I might get bored sooner than I had imagined.  But you know what? I haven’t felt that once here, and to me it seems that I’ll never run out of things to to do or see.  Doesn’t mean I won’t try though…

A Week Without: Facebook

So wayyyyy back when, over at Body FM, I used to do a monthly Week Without post. I would go a week without something that probably wasn’t good for me, or that I knew I needed to work on.  Well, since I’ve barely been writing over there, I figured I’d try it out over here to not only challenge myself but also look at it in a broader sense, not just for things related to health and fitness.

This week I picked (dun, dun, dun…) Facebook.  What? Crazy!

For some, this would actually be no big deal.  I have some friends who either refuse to join Facebook or only log in once a month, because they just don’t see the appeal.  These people also happen to be really productive and focused. Hmm.

Then I have other friends who use Facebook like it’s their job.  And, actually, for many who are community managers or in marketing, it kind of is.  But I also have plenty of other friends who just say that it sucks them in, and when they finally look up, they’ve lost two hours of their lives.  I wouldn’t say I’m that bad, but I check Facebook way more than I need to, especially since I don’t do social media for a living anymore and can’t claiming that I’m ‘working.’  Half the time, I’m not looking for anything, and I don’t have a reason to log in, but I get bored on the bus or while waiting for a friend.  I’m actually realizing more and more that I don’t even really enjoy Facebook.  I’m annoyed by half of the things people post (myself included) — from selfies to over-the-top political opinions (on both sides) to passive-aggressive statuses — so I get completely snarky before I can even stop myself.  I click the app on my phone or type the url into my search bar completely mindlessly.  I am not only losing my attention span and my general awareness, but I’m wasting time, I’m not truly connecting with my friends, and I see updates from the same people every single day.

I’m certainly not saying goodbye to Facebook forever, but a week without it will certainly not kill me.  In fact, I think I will probably get a lot more done, actually talk to my friends rather than FB-stalk, stop sharing things I don’t need to, and maybe even stop saying mean things to my best friend about our “friends’” weird-looking kids be a nicer person.  At the very least, I hope to break the habit of checking it more times than I care to admit throughout the day.

Have you ever banned the ‘book? Are you anti-FB in general? Or are you newsfeed-obsessed? I did this once in college for over a month, but it wasn’t as hard since I didn’t have a smart phone, and Facebook was still pretty basic.  Anyway, I’ll let you know this time around goes next Friday!

[Note: I will try to post this week, but I have my blog set to automatically publicize on Facebook.  So if you see a post from me about the blog during this week, I haven't logged in!  If you see one about something else, feel free to scold.]

Happiness. In Song.

If New Year’s Eve and Day are any indication, 2013 is going to be one heck of a year.  Ringing in the new year with my favorite people in DC made me so unbelievably happy.  To match my mood, I figured I would post a few songs that aren’t necessarily new, but that are making me tap my feet (or sing at the top of my lungs) lately.  Enjoy — and Happy New Year! (Did you make any resolutions? I already got a jump start on #1 on my list by getting a subscription to The New York Times. 2013, I’m coming for ya.)

2013.

Or as I will dub it, The Year of Ambition.

2012 turned out pretty OK.  It started off a little rocky, but all in all, it ended really well.  I moved to DC, started grad school, made some really great friends, and, in all honesty, have not been this happy in a really long time.  2012 wasn’t perfect, but I’ll take it.

So let’s discuss 2013, shall we? I have quite a few goals for this year, but I think they’re doable.  I sort of let 2012 slide, and just focused on being happier, so 2013 is going to be one heck of a year.  So, without further ado, my goals for 2013:

1) Get more informed.  I like to think I generally know what’s going on, but honestly? I feel that for a person living in the nation’s capital, I know very little about the state of the world, and sometimes even the country.  And since one of my biggest fears is that people will find out that I have been faking intelligence for 27 years, I need to at least try to prevent that from happening.  So I plan to either pick up the newspaper three to four times a week or get a subscription.  And not one online, since I already stare at a screen all day.  This might also help with my ever-shrinking attention span.

2) Write more.  Whether it’s just for me or something I actually share here on the blog, I am missing my creative outlet.  I feel like writing and singing are the only two things I’ve ever been really good at, instead of just high-end mediocre.  To accomplish this I plan to carry a notebook with me more often so that, even if it’s just scribbled notes to myself, I can get those thoughts out of my head and onto paper.  I also plan to blog at least once a week, since I have been majorly slacking (hold me accountable, would ya?).

3) Run a 7-minute mile again.  Not everyone knows this about me, but I used to be a crazy runner.  I sort of fell of the wagon upon moving to Chicago, because I just got burnt out in college.  So I’m not aiming for 10 miles at a 7:30 pace like I used to do, but one mile at or under seven minutes? I think I can handle that.

4) Get all As.  I need to study more and put school first.  Simple as that.  This first semester, between working and having a social life, school sometimes got pushed aside.  I ended up doing well still, but it wasn’t straight As, and that wasn’t because the material was too difficult.  So I will try to remind myself this year that I moved to DC primarily for school, and that I might want to take it more seriously.

5) Finish Infinite Jest.  Because as hipster and pretentious as that tome is, it has been staring at me from my bookshelf for three years, with only 100 pages read.  For the love of David Foster Wallace, I HAVE to check it off my list once and for all.

6) Start teaching fitness classes again.  I did this when I first moved to DC, and it was so much fun! I had a great time, and my students loved my classes.  However, with grad school and everything else, I sort of just…stopped.  And my workouts suffered too.  I want to get back to the level where I can easily take and teach classes, because I just really miss it! And that PT cert should not go to waste.

7) Relearn French.  I already have the online course ready to go, so now I just have to…do it.

8) Attempt yoga. Again. I have a 30-class pass that is just sitting here. Going to waste.  Must.give.yoga.another.chance.

9) Be more patient and let go sometimes.  This is a two-parter, but I think these go hand in hand.  A lot of times, I struggle to be patient with how things play out in my life.  With friends, school, upcoming events, jobs, even dating, I struggle to chill the eff out and just let things happen.  I need to work on just living in the moment and not setting expectations for how I will react when something does or does not happen.  I need to listen as my friends meander through their stories instead of hurrying them to the point, pay attention to my awesome professors instead of checking my phone during class, and just breathe as I wait to hear back from a job interview.  But you know what that also means? Being OK with the fact that in some situations, I do not have control.  Sometimes in life, I can control every little detail, but there are even more times where other parties are involved, and I need to accept that.  This is the one that I don’t have a plan for, so if this is something you have a little experience with, help a girl out.

Big plans in 2013! Happy New Year, y’all!